Archive for January, 2008

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6

January 26, 2008

 

distant
slurred
reverberant

like a voice
in a canyon

I hear her calling
in my mind

my name
rolling
sweet as nectar

from lips

soft
as orchid petals

full
as a bursting peach

glistening
deep coral

as they wrapped
softly
‘round each
pouted syllable

when she bid me
tender farewell
so long ago

our fingertips
had strained
to grasp

until
the final sensation
of warmth

of touch

had faded

and they had
drifted apart

I had struggled
to tear my eyes
from her
tears

that glistened
on her lashes

and around
her swollen
crystal blues

to slip softly
over the crests
of her velvet
cheeks

then
down the contour
of her face

flushed as sunset

to lightly salt
her quivering lips

and
as I passed

numb and dazed

through the tunnel
of the
loading gate

toward the jet
that took me
to hell

I had
at that moment

locked the image

of that sorrowed
face of love

deep in my heart

It had proved
my salvation

my only grasp
on sanity
in those
horrific years

my lips
too
had quivered
on that day

with the sting
of separation

and the chilling
knowledge
I would
soon taste
the bitter blood
of war

foul with the
stench of death

having not yet
departed

I had already
longed
to gaze again

into her
brilliant blue eyes

and taste
her sweetness

yet

as I return
this day

trying to face
reality from
30,000 feet

I taste the salt
of sadness

for I fear

a kiss
from me

with my killer’s
mouth

will forever defile
the fragile innocence
of those
luscious lips

soft
as orchid petals
full
as a bursting peach

that glistened
and quivered

when last we parted

 

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5

January 21, 2008

 

she
is away
1 • 2 • 3 days

I am dis-spoused
for this time

getting reacquainted
with myself

my
self
that is not
a part of her

reacquainted

also
I think of her

she
who is away
1 • 2 • 3 days
and 2 nights

gritty
piercing nights

of dangerous navigation
into the id

into the dark place
of primal fear
irrational insecurity

but enough

I also visit
sweet memories

of her
at twenty four

dewy
vulnerable
beautiful

the day we met

she
is away

now

I am
getting reacquainted
with my
self
that feels love

that misses her

away
1 • 2 • 3 days

 

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4

January 20, 2008

 

that is unquestionably joy
in a most unexpected place

in the eyes of an innocent
cruel society deems disabled

bent and stooped
drawn in
unimaginably twisted

confined to constant care
and his rolling metal chair

his gentle eyes
reflect a wonder
my jaded soul
has long since lost

by vanity extinguished

his timeless spirit
knows only trust
it pours forth
from his being

he rocks
and waves
and vibrates

his person full alive
his essence full aware

wholly in the now

positioned close
to the modest stage
he is enraptured by the rhythm
enthralled by the magic

the band plays fast
the band plays slow
the band plays loud
the band plays soft

he is filled with every note
every beat
every nuance

he experiences an ecstasy
at which I can only marvel

its purity and power
I can never know

I now realize
just how much
I do not understand

as I behold this able man

faint envy stirs
as I witness
his unbridled joy

so complete
and unexpected

 

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3

January 19, 2008

 

do not look upon me
in this untended state
grown over
with regret

rampant with cynicism
with unbridled bitterness

in this winter season
of dormant bloom
waning hope

my color has all faded
gone to random hues of grey
the faintest blush of tint

like the cushioned adirondacks
abandoned on the deck
left exposed
too many seasons

brittle
tattered
faded

uncomfortable and unwelcoming

there were seasons
long ago
they embraced laughter

the excitement
of precious friends

once

this garden echoed joy

bloomed long
full and fresh

petals
berries
fruit and leaf
hung heavy

urgent with essence
bursting with life

but biting winds have blown
chill rains fell

rude sun
relentless
in harsh insistence

the suffocating snows

caretakers of the garden
have lost regard
season by season
year by year

misplaced
the tools that nurture

no longer sought

desire wilted
like this scarcely tended plot

too frequent
cruel indifference
haphazard care

dieing embers of concern

like fire
in the great hearth
no longer fed
or gathered round

ignored

no laughter rises
no faces lighted
no warm encounters

passing in the hallway
mumbling over breakfast

no warm encounters

400-thread-count passion
a dieing ember
no longer fed

the hearth grows cold
unwelcoming

chill winds of apathy
prevail

unwelcoming — this garden

grown over with regret
choked by weeds of discontent
from years of withheld love
and failed attention

the untended garden withers

its ember of life
dieing

 

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2

January 18, 2008

 

I lean upon my folded fist
cool against my temple
elbow solid
on my cluttered desk

eyes drooped
and closed
aflame with spoiled sleep

face slacked
head cocked
tilted to the right
heavy with confusion

skull upon the finger bones
in weighted indecision

procrastination presses down

the whooshing hum
of cooling bytes
relentless in my ears

thoughts like digits
on a dollar slot
spin unsettled in my mind

they neither click
nor lock in place
they tumble
in a jumble

they roll and blur
just out of focus
lost in mental fog

sunken in my office chair
I remain
immobile

paralyzed by perplexity

imprisoned
by the chaos
awhirl in my mind

the freedom of decision
impossible to manage

nothing will be done
this day

no first step can be taken

 

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January 17, 2008

 

a place within
closed away from scrutiny
from the world

angry at the wind
at the rain
at daylight

angry at your smile
at the sound of your voice

angry at it all

this is where I live
and how

you come
like a void
false journey-mate

embossed with promises

a coat of synthetic
edges peeled back
its leatherlessness
revealed

shivering
I wrap it round me
seeking warmth

but it is not supple

ill-fitted
it does not hold my form

you do not remember
the bend of my arm

nor the silk
that slid
slippery underfoot
on the marble aisle

as we stalked love
and the vain promise
it would be constant

as the wind
as the rain
as daylight