h1

25

June 22, 2010

day breaks
on
a new week’s
sun

putrid
as the stains
on my
flesh-soaked
mattress

damp
as my sour
mat
of fevered
greasy
tangle

hot
as my
whiskey-foul
breath

another
un-commuted
sentence

9-5
’til
merciful dusk
delivers me

jack-knifed
into
my
jack and dan

don’t obsess
in sorrow

drown

a bottom-dive
to comatose

no virtue
feigned
nor
implied

mad goes
the struggle
until
saved by
jazz
48 over the
hump

2
debauched
24’s
then
the hissing
sting
of monday
and
the mindless
120-grind

cruel numbers
game
goes
round round
and ever round
’til
the tombstone’s
tender
solace

 

this representative work of fiction was inspired by a One Single Impression prompt

• digital art above, entitled “bottom dive”, created by the author

 

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34 comments

  1. This is absolutely wonderful. When I saw your blue eyes above my added poem I knew I was in for something great. Just love your work. Thank you for the beautiful yet raw poem.

    Melanie


    • you flatter melanie

      WDS


  2. “the hissing / sting / of monday” – I like that image/sound. I also like the structure of your poem, the line breaks and stanzas.


    • appreciated mr w

      WDS


  3. Amazing…so very well done. I have been there and done that. Thankfully, I got over it. You captured that desperation well…


    • congrats mark

      WDS


  4. Wow, a stunning piece, rife with emotion and angst.


    • gratitude tg

      WDS


  5. this was quite a trip to read.


    • hold tight dp

      WDS


  6. Wow, a powerful poem, masterfully rendered and so vivid, in its images and the emotions it evokes.


    • raw truth thomma

      WDS


  7. A wonderfully written piece! I enjoyed reading it! Thanks for sharing!

    -Weasel


    • a pleasure weasel

      WDS


  8. beautiful. an echo of leaves of grass. luv.


    • to walt toi

      WDS


  9. Like the way you’ve incorporated a number of prompts into this one.


    • from many one ski

      WDS


  10. Soft jazz! Very nice.


    • hard truth tw

      WDS


  11. Powerful. Ultimate solace is tender by tombstone.


    • quite ultimate harshad

      WDS


  12. well-painted vision.
    like a hard-bitten ‘tec story just before something happens and things become “really” bad.


    • brutal brushstrokes b_y

      WDS


  13. Exquisite fresh images!


    • you flatter linda

      WDS


  14. amazing how a sleepless mattress conveys so many emotions, thoughts… always curious how a mattress can hold the weight of one being… though a good cold shower can erase the weight momentarily


    • to cold showers pie

      WDS


  15. Oh for solace–but not the tombstone!


    • inevitable sandy

      WDS


  16. oh wow.. amazing..! 🙂 thank u..!


    • you’re welcome leo

      WDS


  17. Your use of words and images conveys such a clear, emotive picture…the flesh-stained mattress.. the sour mat of fevered greasy tangle…the whiskey fouled breath…and those numbers, as if they are playing some sick dice game with the speaker or making him march in their time. Reading this made me feel a little sick, hopeless, and vacant…and that means the poem did its job.

    -Nicole


    • empty as a bottle nicole

      WDS



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